I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Floor bacon is actually really good
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
