When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
