What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
