Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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