if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
