Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
