Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm too high and old for this...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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