I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
