Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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