The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
