Christians are straight up FREAKS
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
