think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
