my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
