Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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