Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
