I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Is it because I queefed?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
