Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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