I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
