her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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