i think my mom watched the whole time
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
