please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
