Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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