so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
