You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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