you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
