So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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