How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
