Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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