Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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