We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
