i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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