Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
