Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
