So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize