Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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