just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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