the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
