So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
