My room smells like vodka and shame
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
