so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
