ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
