fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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