Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
