i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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