Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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