i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
