His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Success! We fucked roommates!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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