I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
