his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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