Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize