On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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