ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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