"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
