I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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