I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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