Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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