Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
