Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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