Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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