True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
